So, I am on holiday. Due to awful sleep patterns before my departure, I was too exhausted to enjoy all the inflight entertainment on offer! But I did watch Joyful Noise, as it was playing NOWHERE in cinemas in London!
This forthcoming rambled text is my commentary to the film! The bottom line is that they wasted a massive opportunity in having both Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah on board and they hardly sang! (Burlesque ring a bell?) But although not really consistent in its logic and writing in general, the group of us who wanted to go see it would’ve loved it by taking the piss out of it!
“Joyful Noise 😃
Dolly with a shotgun - totally awesome!!!
Please Dolly, join in the Michael Jackson song…. (Man in the mirror) Need tocheck out the soundtrack. Shame she didn’t!
Whoopi shouldmake an appearance, just for old times sake!
Is Dolly the only white person in this choir? Oh, no there is an Asian person and I think a younger white guy…
Queen Latifah playing the uptight religious bitch is hysterical!
So this teenage love story is a bit bullshit. Super cheesy and over the top!
Let’s focus on the bitch fight between Dolly and the Queen 😊
Walter is awesome. He reminds me ofthe customer we have that is obsessed with Blue, just in his case it is One Hit Wonders….
“I would call you stubborn but that would be an insult to mules” Hahaha
There is too much focus on the kids’ singing!!! They are very good but I mean what a wasted opportunity having both Dolly and Queen Latifah in the film!!!
No fucking way, Mr. su, the only Asian in the village, died after “you know, tap it and die”. BwahahahHa!
Now we have an evil black Darth Vader in this teenage love triangle… He’s got stares and everything!
Is Walter played by Usher or is he just obsessed with the sunglasses.
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are playfighting, boy these stunts are bad hahaha!
Walter is saving the day and Luke is getting in the Queen’s grill!
Who is this ridiculous man???
This film is a mixed bag of bullshit that makes nosense and then some fun lines thrown in, if Dolly and the Queen weren’t in it, it would be awful!
I like that no one in this film has a mobile phone hahaha
“You brought this hudlum into town”
THEY DO HAVE MOBILE PHONES!!!!
Why is the Queen picking her up now from Daddy? Where did Skywalker go?
“trying to fool me is like sneaking sunrise past a rooster” wtf, bwahahahaha.
So just on the sly, the Queen is a nurse, a waitress and the quoir director, yet she spends a lot of time at home…. Logic is not the strongest in this film!
Dolly chucking bread rolls at the Queenis hysterical “stop it with those nails, Edward Scissorhands”
FINALLY, Dolly is allowed to sing!!!! Oh, go away Luke! Sing it, Dolly!!!! Thank fuck, they brought Kris Kristofferson back from the dead to sing with her instead of Luke! Most touching scene in the film!! But so far Dolly is as underused as Cher was in Burlesque. Kris looks a million years old!
What a surprise, Darth Vader plays guitar and they all gonna be best friends!!
Dolly is blackmailing the church haha.
Oooh, dramatic flashbacks on a lifetime of happiness between Olivia and Skywalker!! Just cause he got kickedout of the choir…. Boohoo.
“Anyone would think you’ve been dropped on the head” yeah, that’s right!!
The script is so weak, kids jump from being adolescent and then down to 12year olds!!!
“You don’t think I am pretty?” Queen Latifah doing the body move, too!
“I am an incadescent, born, certified supermodel, baby. I happen not to flaunt it because I am a married woman and I would never disrespect my husband the you just disrespected your mother!”
This is her strongest scene and yeah for slapping her bitch of a daughter and showing her how to cuss lol
And then they overdo it though it is still hysterical for what thefilm turned out to be…
“I would hang mirrors all over my house if I could just to look at myself, I put one on the refrigerator just to watch myself eat all of them calories. And if I gave myself a heartattack from of them foods, I would give myself CPR cause I am a nurse! That’s right, I save lives and that is not bullshit!”
“[…] and you treat my snoring like it is a Marvin Gaye lovesong! That’s right, you respect my snoring!!!”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
“You old son of a baptist, I read you loud and clear and I know what to do!”
Think at this point the writers were completely off their faces!! And Dolly is yodelling…
‘Tap it and die’ was just about to pull… and then heran off, alive lol
Who is this blonde chick singing at the competition in L.A., is she relatedto Dolly!
Dolly is giving love advice lol “You gotta show him woman!” Oh, Dolly, I love you!
“I know I don’t know you but you just seem so special. Is that creepy?” NOOOOOO!
“This might seem like a weird question, but do you have high blood pressure?”
What were they taking????
Insert random “spagat” scene here to impress Justin, the new Asian dude. WTF??
I see what this competition will be about, old white people against young-ish black people with a few odd ones in the mix…. So random, hahahaha. Oh, I forgot about the massive Glee club! I ampretty sure his idol is Michael Jackson… Boy got talent!
For all the faults this film hast, they are all very fine singers!!!
Cause QueenLatifah is so tiny, she has to toss over a thin suitcase and step on it to give a motivational speech, bwahahaha.
Dolly sticks out of this choir as ….. WHAT THE FUCKJUST HAPPENED?
All the prudishness is forgotten and all along they were wearing hot dresses under their church robes…. I don’t really mind, Queen Latifah looks awesome!!
Please let Dolly and the Queen belt something in this film!
There you go, the oldiesare singing…. Where is the Queen??? Go away, creepy white man…
THERE she is! Stealing the show obviously lol
Now are these two women sisters in this film?? I didnt pay attention, cause they have stunning chemistry, if they are not related, I will just ignore Asian Justin and pretend they are a couple!!
Despitethe fact that she is getting married to AJ…
See, at least not totally wasted, take this wanker who wrote Burlesque!! Although just a duet would’ve been nicer!
What a cheesy yet fitting ending, lol.”
